I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
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every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
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