Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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