I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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