Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
