Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
