matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
