May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize