at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
my shit smells like andre
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Loading more great texts...