help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize