Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
