just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
