I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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