i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
