Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
