mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
