There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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