new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
