Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
3pm strippers are depressing
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
