bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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