Your face is a jimmy john
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
