I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
