Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
My bed smells like the plague
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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