Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
