I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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