You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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