i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Green mimosas i think yes
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
