Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
