can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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