he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
