actually, I'm a sock model
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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