she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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