She is in my trunk
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
where am i from again
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize
