We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
