he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
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captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm sobbing to NWA
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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