We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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