also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
