you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
