she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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