I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
This toilet bowl is my home.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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