I am spending my child support on dildos
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
