the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
