i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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