I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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