If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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