Your face is a jimmy john
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
