My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
