you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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