I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
