She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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