I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
