I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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