Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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