tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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