I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
