He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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