I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
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Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
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I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
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