I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
