I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
