One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize