I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
