my phone cant type all the emotion im having
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
