so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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