No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize