Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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