No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
