She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She told me I should be a condom model.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Randomize
