is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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