Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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