Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
