They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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