K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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