someone owes me an orgasm
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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