Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
