Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
