My brain says no but my pants say off.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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