Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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